Defend John Hatley

_____________________________________________________________________

A collection of writings Mrs. Hatley has

composed for a great many reasons, as you will see.

*****************************************************************************************

*****************************************************************************************

***************************************************************************************************

***************************************************************************************************

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Below is a copy of the “testimony” that I read aloud at the trial (Court Martial) for my husband John.  The officer in charge of the over-all court proceedings approached me afterwards and shook my hand, looking me straight in the eyes saying, “Mrs. Hatley, I wanted you to know that your testimony was both profound and moving.  It is the best I have ever heard in testimonies at any trial.  I am honored to meet you.  I wish you the best.”  I shook the officer’s hand in return with a firm grip and thanked him for his heartfelt and very unexpected comment!  The fact that he sought me out to tell me his thoughts, meant the world to me on that day…..

*I read this aloud on April 15th, after the jury presented the findings of “premeditated murder”.  What I mention first, they did not know. 

Gentlemen of the Jury,

I am unsure if you are aware of this, but a finding of “Guilty” – for premeditated murder, carries a mandatory – minimum sentence of LIFE (with) or (without) parole.  Despite that, you have the opportunity to recommend that the sentence be reduced through Clemency.

(pause)

I was moved profoundly by a display of camaraderie and love and I would like to share that experience with you.

On Tuesday, April 14^th at approximately 08:20 a.m., my husband and I arrived at this court house.  What we saw were media; reporters, camera men, waiting for us in the parking area.

As we exited our vehicle, we immediately saw a large group of soldiers moving very slowly in our direction.  There were moving toward us……

As they drew closer, I noticed this group was a mixture of Government (prosecution side) and Defense witnesses “and” all of the other soldiers that have been here all week, to show support.

Most of them have already signed the statement of support, you will receive later.

Well, they surrounded us.  They formed, if you will, a perimeter of protection from the media cameras and escorted us slowly to the courthouse entrance. 

(pause)

 Gentlemen of the Jury,

My husband John is a hero to me and so many others.  My purpose today is to give a description of some his qualities, so that it will make it evident to each of you, of why he is referred to as a hero.

In order for each of you to have a better understanding of who my husband is, I felt compelled to begin in this manner….

To this day, my husband still has not had time to process the emotional trauma of having served in Iraq.  I strongly believe that this also includes his soldiers, because they are already back in Iraq once again.  I worry for John and soldiers who are not afforded ample time to grieve or to process in their minds and hearts the losses they have painfully suffered through.  I must mention, that John was told “not” to show up at the Brigade Memorial Ceremony, which was held in Jan, a few months after he returned from Iraq, due to the investigation going on.

Recently, John found out on 6 April, that one of his soldiers had been killed in Iraq.  How much can John bare, when on top of everything he has been through, is now once again, unable to find closure.  April 14^th, this past Tuesday, was the Memorial Service for SPC Israel Candelaria Mejias at the Grafenwhoer Chapel.  John was unable to attend.  John and I loved this soldier and his family.

(pause)

I attended this Memorial on behalf of my husband, to represent his presence and also for the soldiers of A.Co. 1-18 that were unable to attend.

(pause)

What I would like to stress to each of you, is of the marked difference between OIF-2 (Tikrit) and OIF-06-08 (Bahdad).  The Tikrit deployment was somewhat calm and manageable through my eyes as a military wife.  When the the next deployment came up and the location became Baghdad, life for John………his soldiers and the wives, took a dramatic turn.  Life as we knew it, would never be the same, because the level of fear in the wives increased, seemingly on a daily basis.  At times the stress became almost unbearable for us.

Living in a military community, all the different units were in close proximity.  We, the families, became bombarded by what are called “BCT” messages, which in fact cover the entire Brigade.  These announcements through email, told of injured soldiers and of the deaths of soldiers.  I gained an intimate knowledge of just how emotionally devastating these messages were on the families as they received them.  Case in point, that if a BCT message was about a soldier we did not know, most of us knew a friend of that injured or fallen soldier or………..the wife………..or the girlfriend………..or a civilian in the community that knew them………….

I have lived here in this community almost 8 years by that time period and I will tell you, that I attended every single Memorial Service for the entire Brigade with the exception of one, for when I was just unable.

(pause)

Early on in this deployment (Baghdad), I purposely imbedded myself with the families and the relationship between the wives and I became what most referred to as, unique.  Wives and soldiers from other units have said that our close knit group was quite uncommon and was actually viewed with a gentle envy.

(pause)

I did not wear my husband’s rank.

I wore his heart.

I offered my personal time 24/7, so that any of the wives could call me, even in the middle of the night if their quality of life was being challenged, due to loss of sleep, high anxiety, specific worries, concerns, etc.  I never turned anyone away and these “morale calls” (that what I call these types of calls), were conducted in such a way that they could call to talk until “they”………..felt better, no matter how long we stayed on the phone.

(pause)

It’s been over 15 months since my husband left his company, due to the investigative process, but despite that fact…………..soldiers and wives still seek us out for guidance, advice, comfort and support.  That makes it much more evident of the unique bond John and I have with them.

(pause)

John and I communicate well with each other and so, with a sense of discernment, I will offer a few examples of what my husband shared with me over time…..

In one of the many horrific situations John experienced in Iraq, he described to me how an IED went off in between two of the vehicles in his patrol, which missed them.  It actually hit a civilian vehicle which killed 2 men and a woman.  One of the men had been cut in half and the female had been decapitated.  John explained how he policed up pieces of her body along with the other two people in the truck….  As I sat calmly listening to the details, I noticed his eyes became very red and a look of fatigue grew on his face as he continued on.  I instinctively knew that opening up like this for him, was a very healthy thing to do.  Moments like this didn’t happen very often, as most of you are already aware that sometimes soldiers find it too painful to talk about their traumatic experiences.  What I heard and observed with my eyes and heart, became painfully obvious to me that this was just the very tip of the iceberg, of the trauma and emotional pain he had inside him.    

• Immediately after one of John’s soldiers was killed, John fell into what I call a “functional despair”.  What compounded that pain and despair, was the fact that he was the First Sergeant and knowing my husband, he was not about to allow any of his own emotional suffering, to interfere with anything downrange.  I remember John telling me on the phone, “One fallen soldier was one soldier too many.” 

• My husband literally lived his personal responsibility for the welfare, morale and safety of his soldiers every moment of every day of those 15 months.  John was constantly going on patrols with his soldiers and had come so close to being killed so many times, that this fact often times, became the topic of conversation, amongst the soldiers and their families.  Yes, John became legendary.  As you can imagine, my heart raced and my stomach would get all knotted up.  Actually, those knots in my stomach stayed there for the duration of the deployment.  Plain and simple, John followed his conscience and heart, to do anything he could, to always be where his soldiers were, in order to ensure that they would not be killed.  That’s just the way he is.   John remained keen to whenever his soldiers were to go out on patrol.  He made it a point to join them, despite having had little to no sleep for days.  Sometimes 4 hours…………..sometimes 2…..

(pause) 

• John readily put aside his rough exterior when it was necessary, to lend his ear or shoulder to his soldiers that were experiencing problems, whether they be military related or personal.  Anytime a soldier was injured, he made sure he went to see them.  He made them laugh.  Oooh and when they laughed, they laughed really, really hard.  Oooh and the things he’d say to them….  I can’t repeat here, but it was of the stuff that soldiers love.  John used his gift for saying the most off the wall things to his soldiers and it seemed they never knew what would come out of his mouth next.  The ability to laugh or better yet, the ability to be the catalyst for such laughter, also serves to sooth the invisible scars and trauma that soldiers often find themselves carrying deep inside them selves in wartime.  John was affected deeply and profoundly by the losses of his soldiers, but continued to display courage despite everything.   To me, that is what a hero is.

• This particular deployment was quite a challenge for the families as well.  Most of the wives, to include myself described each day as though we were holding our breaths and afraid to exhale.  How best to describe this?  We, the families stayed on edge, the entire 15 month deployment…..day in and day out and that is no exaggeration.

There was a time that I went to visit and attempt to comfort a young widow.  Her first name was Laura.  She had a little boy and a baby girl.  She “needed” to lead me to her dining room table to show me what was very important to her.  On the table was a statue of an Infantry soldier and I recognized it immediately, because my husband had presented to her husband, when he was in A. Co. 1-18. 

(pause)

She had her cell phone in her hand and someone called her.  She fell sobbing to her knees, right at my feet.  She was told that she “could not” have an “open casket” ceremony for her husband.

(pause) 

• As the deployment went on, there was a time I had accompanied one of the wives from our company (who’s husband was still downrange), to a Memorial service for one of our fallen.  Immediately following the service, I walked with her to her car.  With tears in her eyes and shaky voice she said, “Kim, I am so thankful for the fact that your husband is my husband’s First Sergeant for our company, because I know my husband will come back to me.  Please tell him that I thank God for him being in Iraq with my husband.  Please be sure to tell him what I said.”  A fact about John is that he has the uncanny ability to recognize a problem, before it becomes an emergency.  This powerful fact rang true for the soldiers.  I know, because I heard it from the wives.  I also, heard this from soldiers themselves.

(pause)

Indeed, it is reasonable to believe that there may have been more losses in our company, if it were not for this fact about John.  We lost 6 soldiers in A. Co……”BUT”………….144 came back and those who did, told me that it was thanks to John.

(pause)

 The families went through so much.  It was an extremely challenging time for them.  They too, fought a different type of battle on the homefront.  They are all, exceptional.

(pause)

Gentlemen of the Jury, as you can see, John loved loved his soldiers and their families and naturally, they loved him too.  Being an Infantry First Sergeant was much more than just his job, his duty…..  It became a passion and that passion encompassed taking care of both soldiers and their families, often times under incredibly challenging circumstances.  John is modest and does not consider himself as a hero. He is however, quick to point out his soldiers and call them heroes.  I love my husband with all my heart. 

My heart and a collective conscience of all the soldiers and wives I have spoken with since this past deployment and all the way up till today, fueled the words in my testimony today.    

I am hopeful that by each of you hearing my testimony today, you may come to a positive and fair outcome for my husband.

From “Band of Brothers”, Major Richard “Dick” Winters:

He said, [Quote] My Grandson once asked me, “Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?”  I said, “No, but I served in the company of heroes”.

Thank you.

************************************************************************************************

************************************************************************************************

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Below is my very long clemency letter that I submitted to the convening authority, pleading on behalf of my husband John.

ATTN:  Brigadier General Hogg                                                    May 1^st, 2009

Dear Sir,

     Thank you for your time in reading my letter today.  I am the proud wife of MSG John E. Hatley.  My name is Kim.  I love my husband with all my heart and soul.  Sir, what I am about to do in my plea for Clemency for my husband John, is to tell what I know about being his wife.  The wife of an Infantry First Sergeant in time of war.  Please sir, when I speak for myself, I also speak for the exceptional military wives of Alpha Co. 1_18 IN, OIF-06-08.  I feel confident that through my words, you will come to know who John E. Hatley is and what he is not. 

     Sir, something came over me this morning as I drove down the road near my home.  I became overwhelmed with what seemed to be a most profound epiphany.  I realized that I am fighting for my husband’s life.  John was taken to Mannheim Prison on the evening of April 16^th, 2009 and I returned to my home, alone.  Immediately, the very next morning I began my efforts to get word out to everyone I possibly could, to write letters of Clemency for my husband.  That same exact energy and determination is also being applied for Clemency for two other great soldiers, heroes in fact;  SFC Joseph P. Mayo and SGT Michael Leahy Jr.  Sir, my beliefs and dedication to our families and soldiers parallel those of my husband.  We do not leave soldiers behind.  We do not leave families behind either. I am on a mission.  I wake up every morning at approximately 0830 a.m. and each night I fall asleep exhausted around 0300 a.m.   I am keeping both my keyboard and telephone active in my efforts to seek Clemency.    

     I realized I have more to tell than I could have ever imagined.  Perhaps like a soldier does, a wife must be strong at times when she doesn’t think she can be.  My husband was brave, but also displayed courage under horrific situations while in Baghdad.  I know this, because I heard it from soldiers and I heard it from the families of our soldiers.  Through tearful thanks from the parents of our soldiers, that if it were not for John, they believe their sons would not have returned alive.  “It is a miracle anyone returned alive from Baghdad.”  That quote sir, I have heard repeated all the way up to yesterday evening, when I had the honor of speaking with another set of parents calling from Ohio. 

     Sir, what I know about my husband, which his soldiers and families and the world do not know is what I must explain to you now, in this forum.  I will never find the words to describe what it feels like to see the fear in the eyes of a man when his actions and attitude in extreme circumstances others prove otherwise.  It is not about the circumstances, it’s about one’s disposition in life and how one treats others.  I have sucked back tears countless times to be the stronger one.  Sir, I am half the size of my husband.  My husband has PTSD, but he would not allow this fact be brought into the trial.  He even spoke with a Psychologist, due to the prompting of the prosecution.  They asked him if he was crazy.  He responded with, “Well, if I’m crazy, would I be the best judge of that?”  The Psychologist then laughed in surprise, as does anyone who interacts with my husband.  That’s just the way he is.  Sir, I believe many leaders in the world at all levels, find that humor is the best medicine and at times, crucial.  My husband found solace in humor, whilst he bit his tongue, having his courage and honor tested by so many that have never had theirs tested in war.  His response could have been bitter or sarcastic, but John beneath his burly exterior and smiling eyes, is a gentleman.  My husband is a good man, through and through. 

     Many times I have woken up in the middle of the night to find him grimacing, tossing and turning fitfully in his sleep.  In these moments I would see him drenched in perspiration, from nightmares.  If he was asleep and the phone rang and startled him in the middle of the night, he would literally jump out of bed and I would find him just standing there in the darkness. 

     I will tell you that the pressure of having so much responsibility of being an Infantry First Sergeant taking his soldiers into battle in wartime is quite a challenge.  This was compounded by the fact that he loved each and every one of his soldiers like sons.  As any father would love their own son and give their own life for him, my husband was no different.  I remember each and every one of the phone calls he made to me, soon after he lost one of his soldiers.  Sir, he lost 6 soldiers.  John’s tough exterior is a skilled mask in which the thickness and width of, mirrors the depth of his suffering and fears.  I know this to be true, because I am his wife.  I know what others do not and for good reason, at times should not know. 

     John does possess the uncanny ability of identifying a problem, before it becomes an emergency.  The loss of one more soldier would have been an emergency.  The distinction between a soldier and a civilian did not exist for John.  Let me explain how I know this.  John and I went for a walk in our quiet little German neighborhood holding hands a few weeks after he returned from Baghdad, OIF-06-08.  This is when he began to describe to me how he tried to save the life of an Iraqi boy.  I think the boy was around 14 years old.  I will tell you that I do not remember all the details, but what I do remember is what I believe is most important.  He let go of my hand.  Startled, I look up at his face as we continued our walk and what I saw were tears streaming down his face.  While still looking forward, he explained that he basically tried to get back to the area  where that Iraqi boy was headed and the boy wound up getting killed by an enemy sniper.  John was experiencing tremendous guilt for not having been able to intervene in time. After all, John was on patrol with his own soldiers.  I remember, because he repeated this sentence over and over again, “If I could have just gotten back there sooner.  I could have saved him.”  Sir, John identified the problem, but regardless, his first priority was the welfare and lives of his own soldiers.  What turned into a terrible tragedy for that little boy, proved to be the careful balance of John keeping focus on his own soldiers and the mission at hand.  John’s guilt of not being able to be everywhere for everyone at all times, is viewed by so many, as incredulous.  Well, it is credulous and it is fact.  I know, because his soldiers have told me this.  I know, because the wives, girlfriends, fiance’s and parents of our soldiers have told me this.

     Many years of being on the line, eventually took it’s toll on John’s body.  Well, John loved being on the line, but he was also becoming very tired.  John’s knees popped and cracked every morning he got out of bed.  Prior to the Baghdad deployment, his right knee began causing him additional worries and concerns.  He basically toughed it out and truly, he just didn’t have time to focus on himself.  Pre deployment training for his soldiers and unit preparations came first and foremost.  As John’s wife, I fought back my own instincts to put my foot down that he needed to get to a doctor as soon as possible and “if” possible.  He would not have listened to me anyway.  I believe that this is just one of the many aspects of being the wife of an Infantry First Sergeant who goes to war.  I had to accept this and I did after multiple protests, mind you.  He simply would not allow anything, even his own physical wellbeing to become an obstacle in keeping his soldier’s lives, top priority over his own and that meant, prepping his soldiers for war. 

     The term selfless will never be sufficient in describing my husband.  In my own words, John treated his soldiers as fathers treat their sons.  I know this to be true, because at home John often talked about them as individuals, sharing with me the funny things they’d say or do up at the company.  He spoke about their accomplishments and how he observed them growing in character, even in the regards to personal challenges they’d experience from time to time.  John’s emotions behind the scenes from what his soldiers saw, ran the gamut.  I knew he loved them.  I heard it.  I saw it with my own eyes.  It was always very clear that John loved his soldiers and serving his country.  Sir, even in the privacy of our own home, not once has my husband ever spoken negatively about any of his own soldiers, nor people in general for that matter.  This for me, is yet another true testament of the character my husband possesses to this day.  What goes on far beyond the war environment or the confines of the company while in garrison, is a very telling fact.  I know the inner workings of John.  I know, because I know him and I know his soldiers personally.  I also knew the 6 soldiers we lost.  To this day, I still remain as close and personal with the families of our soldiers.

     When John was in Baghdad, I remained ever patient and loved him unconditionally as any wife would their own husband.  I would not hear from him for weeks at a time, because that’s just the way he was.  It took a great amount of courage on my own part, to keep a smile on my face to go on each day .  Sir, I could in fact attempt to write more in regards to the level of stress and violence this deployment ensued for all, but it would literally fill volumes.  Similar to my husband’s rough and tumble exterior, mine was an ever present enthusiastic smile!  Sir, I would like you to know that the force behind my smile, mirrored the inner strength of being a military wife.  That is what we do.  We smile when what we want to do is cry.  We smile when we need to cry, but can’t because we must be there for others.    

     Sir, after each and every one of the memorials I attended here at the Ledward Barracks Chapel through this Baghdad deployment, I smiled.  I had to carry on and not only “be” brave, but I had to display courage as well.  I didn’t try, but what I did was “do it”.  Still, to this day, after having comforted so many young widows, fathers, mothers and other grieving family members of fallen soldiers, I still cannot cry.  Sir, many of these widows were personal friends of mine.  John did the same however, there was a marked difference.  John experienced first hand, the actual trauma of losing his soldiers.  I, being located on the home front experienced these losses, minus the physical trauma and details one witnesses while holding a wounded soldier in your arms in his last seconds of life on this earth.  Only occasionally did John reveal a fraction of what he was feeling.  I remember holding back my tears with all my might, as I listened carefully to him say this over the phone, which he said often in both relation to his own soldiers and Iraqi civilians, “Kim…. One fallen soldier is one fallen soldier too many.  If only I was on that patrol with him.  He was such a good kid.  I loved him. I know you know that, but there’s nothing I can do now.”  Infantry First Sergeants with a rough exterior do occasionally choose to release only a fraction of their inner suffering to a select few.  I am honored to be one of those select few.  Being John’s wife does not automatically make me a candidate for such sharing.  I am realistic to the fact that sometimes a soldier will prefer to lean on a fellow comrade, verses their spouse, friend in the states or their family members.  I knew this and I also understood it.  Sir, with that type of painful acceptance, I will tell you that I suffered silently just knowing this.  I accepted it and with resolve, I honored it. 

     My husband’s own life was in danger every day and I sat here on the homefront with my ear always keen for my phone to ring.  If a third party ever listened in on any of these calls, I could tell you sir, that they would have had absolutely no idea that he was tired to the point of exhaustion and simply heartbroken over not being able to be everywhere at all times.  That third party might have heard a form of concern, but what I heard, was my husband’s depth of despair.  I know, because I have intimate knowledge of what beats through his heart.  He continued to joke around and make light of things, but I could read between the lines.  Military wives and their soldier utilize a form of coding when necessary, so that one may have somewhat of a gauge of eachother’s state of mind and heart. 

     The realization that  he simply could not be everywhere at all times, began to wear on him, as it would anyone who wants desperately to keep their soldiers alive in war.  Despite all that, he pushed forward every day and was always first to kick in doors.  He led from the front, always.  John’s display of courage was phenomenal.  He came so close to being killed so many times, that this fact became legendary.  Well, I chose to adapt an assemblance of my husband’s display of courage and fortitude and I in turn, channeled that same energy to the families of his soldiers.  Sir, the families of Alpha Company 1_18 IN were all exceptional.  I also include the fiance’s and girlfriends of our soldiers, for they too were part of the “complete” circle of support here on the homefront.  I know that our families survived this horrific deployment, because of their own courage, honor and conduct, but I can also guarantee that my husband’s far reaching ability to impact people’s lives positively, was a direct reflection on why the his soldiers and their families made it through the Baghdad deployment, exceptionally well. 

     A grinning soldier shouts, “I didn’t think the First Sergeant owned any real clothes!”  Sir, I am quoting what many soldiers have said about John when they spotted him off duty, here in garrison.  If John was spotted wearing a short sleeved shirt and shorts, we’d hear soldiers shout, “Hey!  First Sergeant!!  We didn’t know you had skin under the sleeves of your ACU’s!  We thought it was stuffing or something else!”  Oh yes.  My husband along with his quick wit and charismatic humor always chided back something quite unique.  Sir, I will just leave it at that.   John’s responses proved to be both amusing and everlasting!

     My husband owned only a few good shirts and mostly comfortable, relaxing at home type clothes.  Soldiers shouting out what they do, is all telling.  John was always everywhere, even while in garrison, far removed from any war environment.  His soldiers knew that John’s leadership, mentoring and concern for their welfare did not stop at the door of his office up at the company.  What a soldier says and sees their First Sergeant doing away from the workplace, is all telling of the character of that First Sergeant.  Sir, what I am certain of, because I have been told this many times over by his soldiers (especially the week of the trial) is that John saved many lives.  “If it were not for First Sergeant, I would not be here Mrs. Hatley.”  Sir, I know what those words do to me and I know how those words affect my husband, but what I hope in my heart is that you will come to know the dynamics behind who my husband is and what caliber First Sergeant he was.  Just a few days ago, I had yet another opportunity to speak with the proud parents of a soldier who was one of those 144.  I spoke to this soldier’s father for 1 hour and then the mother for a half hour.  In tears, the mother told me, “I know from what my son told me and what my husband and I feel, that your husband was responsible for bringing our boy back home alive and we are just so thankful to him.  I just want you to know that.”

        Two facts that ring true for all 144 soldiers and their families is that John both saved lives and that he will continue to affect those around him for the rest of his life. 

     Please sir.  It has taken me hours to get to this point in my letter.  Please know that in the course of the 4 hours it has taken me to collect my thoughts, I have had to get up and walk away from my computer.  I had to walk off the tears that began welling up in my eyes.  I understand what a Clemency letter is, but I am also realizing that I only have one chance to beg you for my husband’s life.  Sir, it is emotionally challenging for me to even attempt to find the right words that may find their way into your heart and conscience.  Yes.  Just the act of typing up a Clemency letter on behalf of my own husband should prove how much I love him, but no.  This is not what is important in this letter.  I truly believe that the powerful dynamic of “unconditional love” seems best in attempting to sum up who my husband is and what he’s all about.  Plain and simple, John is a good man, an exceptional soldier, but he is also a very humble man.  He always puts others before himself. 

     Over the years, John’s knees have caused some amount of concern, but being in the Infantry, your body is everything.  Sir, I know you have probably already read many Clemency letters describing how John was the first to kick in doors in Baghdad, which that act in itself is just commonplace in war.  He always wanted to be the first one int he door and this fact finally took it’s toll on his right knee.  His right ACL was torn to shreds.  John would not go seek medical care.  He would not go.  I know this, because John called me one evening and said emphatically, “There is no way in hell I will leave my men.  Kim, the bottom line is, that if I leave them and something happens to one of them, I will not be able to live with myself.”  Sir, I sighed silently on the other end of the phone.  I replied in a strong, but gentle voice, “I understand honey.  I love you and when please, when or if an opportunity arises, will you please go get it checked out?”  He replied with, “Eh, if I made it this long, I should be alright.”  As we all have the commonality of being stubborn at times, my husband John takes the cake on that one.  After some time elapsed, his Sergeant Major found out about it and “made” John go.  John made his way down to Kuwait to get an MRI done, but to no avail.  He was told he didn’t need an MRI and so, John made all attempts at returning to his company as quickly as possible.  What I must stress here is that there was extreme urgency for him to return by a particular day.  He did not want to miss a Memorial service for a soldier.  Sir, John made it back just in time.  Failure is just not an option when attending a soldier’s Memorial.  My stomach remained in knots as he’d update me on transportation issues that seemed to hinder every source he’d approach for assistance.  He finally made it and well, that’s all that counts, doesn’t it.  His soldiers were anxiously waiting the safe return of their First Sergeant and he made it back in time and truly, that’s all that mattered.  Those knots in my stomach subsided, but due to the nature of this time frame in Baghdad, those knots soon returned like a yoyo bounces back when slung downward.  My nerves were a wreck, but I kept a smile on my face.      

     March 13^th, 2009 John finally went to get his long awaited knee surgery.  Years in the Infantry will wear your knees down.  John had ACL, reconstructive surgery on his right knee, but he still helped our German neighbors move a house full of furniture.  This was within days of having returned home from a week in the hospital located in Werneck, Germany.  The surgeon advised that it may take up to 9 – 12  months for it to heal, along with physical therapy treatments.  Whenever anyone needs help, John never says no.  A few days later, John helped another friend.  A Sergeant Major in the German Army needed help relocating to a smaller apartment.  Could I stop John from helping?  No.  Of course not.  Happiness just exudes from my husband when he is able to help others.  Einstein once said, “If you do not live for others, life is not worth living.”  John and I both believe this and we embrace it and practice it.  Sir, I could write volumes about the greatness in my husband’s heart.  Under his ACU’s and full battle rattle, he’s got one of the biggest hearts on this earth.  I think perhaps, your heart is the same size as John’s.  I will always believe that.   

     Sir, whether it be a subject of war, family, off-duty / on-duty or in regards to my own personal relationship with John, I will share a secret with you that may bring a better understanding of exactly what he is all about.  With some amount of discernment, I am choosing to share this very special secret with you, in this forum. 

     This is a secret as in, it is not a well known fact about my husband.  Sir, the secret is Folger’s Coffee.  I am guessing that you enjoy coffee too.  I have never met a Brigadier General before, but I am thinking a Brigadier General would probably be a coffee drinker.  John likes his black, no sugar and no cream.  Without much ado, I will explain.

     What seemed like only a year since our soldiers returned from the deployment in  Tikrit, Iraq, we were already facing yet another one.  Prior to the deployment to Baghdad, OIF-06-08, John and I took a long walk.  If you remember from the beginning of my letter, I am half the size of my husband.  I am only 5’ 2” tall.  John is 6’ and burly.  Well as we walked along, he rerouted our steps so that we found ourselves on a secluded side street.  The street lamps were on, because it was late in the evening.  I remember what happened like it was yesterday.  We stopped and faced each other.  That is when he bent forward to lay his head on my shoulder.  Sir, I teetered back and forth, trying with all my might, to support the weight of him leaning on me, as I comforted him.  What he said in those few minutes of personal release was,  “Kim, I am tired.  I don’t want to lose one soldier.  I don’t know if I will be able to handle that.  All I want to do is go and hope this deployment goes by really fast and I want to bring all my boys home.  I am so tired Kim.  All I want to do is bring my boys home back alive and go home to Texas.  Kim, I haven’t seen my family in so long.  My parents are getting older and I never spent enough time with my Pop, because I was always either deployed or stationed too far away.  There are things I want to tell him.  Kim, all I want to do is build our house.  You know, the house with the front porch.  We can wake up early, make coffee and go sit on the front porch.  I just want to watch the sun come up with you.”  Sir, this particular and tender experience is something that is not exclusively reserved for just my own husband prior to a deployment to a war zone.  After what seemed like a good long time, I looked up at my husband’s eyes and said in a firm, but loving voice tone, “We will John.  We will make that happen.  We will drink coffee on our porch someday, but not yet….. not yet…..  What I want you to know, is that I am here for you.”

    That last sentence is what I told my husband John yesterday evening when he called me from the Mannheim Correctional Facility.  Sir, the fact is that John saved many lives.  His company lost 6 soldiers, but he brought back 144.  He served selflessly for 19 ½ years, which is half his life.  John is now 40 years old.  Now I find that I am in a position where I am fighting for his life.  I am only half his size sir, but I am hopeful that my words have somehow magnified the significant dynamics of all that my husband is.

     Sir, thank you so much for reading my letter.  I will continue to pray and remain hopeful that you may consider approval for Clemency for my husband John.

Very respectfully,

                                                                                      Mrs. Kim Hatley

*****************************************************************************************

*****************************************************************************************

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Below is a copy of a letter that I sent to the Mannheim prison in Germany (temporary holding facility) where John was initially sent to, immediately following his trial.  His trial dates were from April13th through April 16th, 2009 and held on Rose Barracks installation in Vilseck, Germany. 

Monday, April 27, 2009